Foundational work

It’s been two weeks and a day since I got engaged! My fingers feel naked already when I’m not wearing the ring. We’ve decided to enjoy the holidays and postpone any attempts at planning anything, but the efficient worker in me can’t help but start browsing at websites to research and sneak in a tiny bit of mental planning. hahaha But I’m really happy about this time when we’re not caught up with planning the details of the wedding. It affords us the time to just sit down and start laying down the foundation of our future life together. So, on our first date as an engaged couple, we listed down our expectations from each other: our non negotiables. We also talked about our home life, each others’ habits in the house, pet peeves and must-dos. We went room by room! We had the longest argument about the toilet seat! You wouldn’t believe how emotional we got about that. A lot of married couples tell us that it’s these everyday things that start becoming the source of conflict. We’re trying to avoid future misunderstandings by talking about it already.

We also talked about how our future holiday schedule will look like, how we’ll be dividing our time between the families during the holidays. I can’t believe this will be our last Christmas celebration as single people! Of course, another way to look at it would be that it’s our first and only Christmas celebration as an engaged couple.

Advises have already started coming in from married couples and we’re grateful for all of them. We’re gathering as much wisdom as we can. Here’s a taste of what we’ve been blessed to hear about marriage:

1. The high of emotions settles down and your relationship will not be all kilig anymore. It doesn’t mean you love each other less, it just gets a little bit more rational. Respect and commitment become key aspects of your relationship.
2. Never argue about money.
3. The wife must submit to her husband in all decisions, even if the wife thinks she’s smarter than her husband.
4. Try to live in a house that has at least a bathroom and a half.
5. When you have children, never let them sleep between you and your husband/wife.
6. If you are a stay-at-home wife, never let your husband find you looking less pretty than the people in his office. He should come home to the best looking, best smelling wife in the whole wide world. The same goes for stay-at-home husbands.
7. Don’t expect to live the lifestyle of your parents. You are just starting out so downgrade your lifestyle to what your budget can actually afford.
8. It wasn’t just your two lives that was merged, but two families. Be gracious in dealing with the in-laws.
9. In public, always support each other.

So much to learn and so much growing up to do!